Hypnotherapy in Kent

This handbook is intended for those professionals who wish to learn more about the application of hypnosis in the treatment and counselling of those with behavioural, emotional, medical and psychological problems.

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If you feel good about yourself, then the world looks rosier and you find things annoy you less.

Good self belief means you trust yourself to be able to handle people no matter how they behave

Self- confidence and maturity go hand in hand.  The mature person recognises that anger is like a chain-saw: it needs handling with great care in order not to cause injury and chaos, but in the right hands it can be a skilful and useful tool.

If you feel good about yourself you will understand the secrets of emotional self-management.  You will no longer be frightened by your own anger or by that of others.  If you become annoyed or angry it will remain within your control.   You will know the tricks of the psychological trade that enable you to neutralise “triggers” that used to make you lose control.

Strong self-esteem means that you trust yourself; you feel as if you are in the driving seat of your life.

The sense of dignity and contentment that go with good self-esteem mean that you give off good “vibes” and other people will be influenced by this so that they are less likely to become angry or irritated.  You will be one of those people who spread oil on troubled waters with the strength of your presence alone.

Review
“This interesting book is practical, providing a step–by–step approach for integrating hypnotherapy with CBT. It demonstrates how this method is applied with common psychological disorders such as depression and PTSD. Clinicians who use hypnosis will be very pleased with this work because it gives them more techniques to use with their clients.” (Doody′s, April 2009)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is now in use worldwide, while hypnosis as a technique continu (more…)

Having worked with a great many patients over the last decade, I have been struck by how hard some people find it to be kind to themselves and how closely it is connected to low self esteem.

Often the people I work with are generous in praising and esteeming other people; they notice their acts of kindness; they admire their skills and abilities; but getting them to admit that they have good points is like getting blood out of a stone.

They belittle themselves; they downgrade their skills and wonder why they feel shaky and uncomfortable inside!  Inside their heads they speak to themselves in a way that they would never talk to their children; sometimes they even speak to themselves more harshly and unkindly than you would to the family dog!  Can this be right?  Of course not; theirs is a dog’s life….no wonder you feel bad.

In my book Self Esteem Unlocked you will find the help you need to change how you think and feel about yourself so that you can enjoy the contentment that comes from self acceptance.

Think back across your life and jot down some of the things that people have said to you over the years that have made you feel good about yourself.   When someone pays you a compliment you feel like a dog with two tails don’t you, and the great secret that few people realize or grasp is that you can carry on the good work in your own mind and, by praising and complimenting and appreciating yourself, you can enjoy the same surge of pleasure, contentment and motivation as when compliments come from others.

Notice that I used the word ‘motivation’  – when people praise you, your motivation increases, in other words you discover more energy.  Energy is something that people are looking for almost as much as self confidence, and improving your self esteem is certain to give you more of that magic rocket fuel: energy.

Self Esteem Unlocked is an honest and straightforward book that will give you many examples of the ways in which you can improve your self esteem.  As you learn to appreciate and value yourself you will find that many of your relationships will improve.  Because you learn how to change feelings of inferiority into an enjoyable sense of self worth that is respectful of others but not inferior to them, people feel more comfortable in your company.  You will give off the good “vibes” that come from a person who is at peace with themselves.

Self Esteem Unlocked does what it says on the tin.  It shows you the essential ingredients of building your own good self esteem.   Considering the wide array of tools you will have at your disposal for the rest of your life, the cost is tiny.   Can you afford to be without it – this golden guide will be by your side for life.

Notes

When you were a child praise was heaped on you lavishly.  Why does it suddenly stop when you are an adult.

Synopsis
Hypnosis: Advanced Techniques of Hypnotherapy and Hypnoanalysis. Analytical Hypno-psychotherapy gains its strength from the fact that it is more flexible and more interactive than straightforward hypnoanalysis. We can work with a wider variety of psychological conditions and can even achieve positive results when working with the logical and analytical client. It is more interactive than hypnoanalysis, more flexible than ‘direct regression’ and allows the skilled worker eno (more…)

Since the release of my book Self Esteem Unlocked a lot of people have expressed interest in the idea of hidden belief systems that hold you back and stop you from achieving your full potential.

A lot of readers have emailed asking about family belief systems, for example, the things which family members say about their abilities and the status of the family.  Often they are used to define your family’s place in the road where you live and in society in general and to explain and reinforce why certain things are done or not done in the family.

Where the whole family suffers from low self esteem you may hear excuses or comfortable family jokes that are used to explain away a lack of achievement such as ‘you won’t find any eggheads in this family; not like So-and-So down the road: just because their eldest went to university they think they are better than everyone else.’

Such things can be passed down from generation to generation; a father struggles to cope with DIY and is constantly nagged and criticised by his wife.  Years later their son may be surprised to discover that he is in a very similar situation.  Without knowing it he has followed the unwritten family script that says ‘I am no good at DIY and my wife is ashamed of my lack of ability and criticises me for it.’

The good news is that you do not have to be held back by these restrictions.  The first step is to see what you are dealing with. It is useful to sound out other members of the family that you know you can trust to be discreet and ask them their opinion.  People love to be asked for their advice and you will often unearth some shrewd insights.

An elderly aunt of mine described the men folk on my mother’s side of the family as ‘cautious, reserved individuals who like nothing more than to go home after work and nestle in the bosom of their family.  They work hard and are likely to have money squirrelled away in lots of odd corners.’  This means that if anyone in our family wanted to go out and buy a bright pink Porsche and spend all night partying until 3 am. we would have to undo a great many family belief systems!

Part of improving your self esteem is being able to develop the flexibility to step outside of the unhelpful family belief systems.

For example, one person that I worked with was very inhibited by the way her father used to tell her that she would never amount to anything.   Whenever she couldn’t manage to do something or things went wrong for her this phrase would trigger in her mind and she would experience feelings of misery, apathy and hopelessness.   Once it was in the open she began to challenge this thought whenever it flashed through her mind.  To start with it felt as difficult as trying to catch butterflies, but she persevered, and, using other techniques from the book she was soon able to take failures great and small in her stride.

Other things that Self Esteem Unlocked will help you with are Money Beliefs.  If your family has the hidden belief that “we have always been poor” or “we never seem to be able to manage money properly; it just slips through our fingers” you may have troubles.   Self Esteem Unlocked will show you how to unearth these beliefs and get them out into the open and then how to bust them open and replace them with much more healthy beliefs such as “with hard work, determination, flexibility, initiative and shrewdness I can create for myself an income and lifestyle that I will be proud of.”

Self Esteem Unlocked will help you with your Sex Beliefs.  At the moment the dieting industry and the media has got us all by the short and curlies so that the prevailing belief is that unless you are slim and toned you cannot be sexually attractive.  What rubbish!  Improving your self esteem makes you really enjoy being you and when that happens you believe you are drop dead gorgeous without a shadow of a doubt.  And you don’t have to throw all your mirrors away!   Self confidence makes you incredibly attractive sexually.

Enjoy the book; it’s one of the most important you will ever read.

Notes

False values; money:  I’ll never earn much; your level in society can be determined by education, what your dad did and what you’re mum and dad and grandparents Believed.  These are the hidden things that hold you back.  If your parents had a secret belief ‘we will always be hard up’ then that is what will happen to you.  ‘We are not big drinkers’ ‘I can never get clothes to fit me’ ‘Bernard’s scathing views of neighbour Charles: he is a shit; his children are scathing with one another and with friends.  For scathing read a high degree of judgmentalism.’

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